My wife, Pam, is away. I’m putting the boys to bed and just get them settled in their rooms. I’m sitting in the hallway with a book by the nightlight while they fall asleep. Hayden (6) says, “What does XOXO mean again?” “Hugs and Kisses” I say. “Which is which?” “X is a hug, O is a kiss”, I say, on no particular authority. A few minutes pass. I think they’re asleep. Owen (8) pipes in, “What’s sex?” My eyes shoot up from my book, panic-stricken. Why is he asking about sex? What the hell have they been watching? What should I do? Pam’s away! Should I be honest about it? I take a breath, about to say, “Sex is something that mommies and daddies do when…” Just then, Hayden yells from his bedroom, “X is a hug, Owen.” “Oh, right,” Owen yells back from his bed. I exhale a sigh of relief. X is a hug. X is a hug. “Goodnight you two!” I say, relieved. “Goodnight!” they reply innocently.
These two goofs are definitely not ready to talk birds and bees.