Why Fatherhood Matters

Excellent essay from Stephen Marche in latest Esquire. What really captivated me was this insight:

As the patriarchy is slowly dying, as masculinity continues to undergo a constant process of redefinition, fatherhood has never mattered more. Having children has always been a major life marker, of course, but the demise of other markers of masculine identity has given fatherhood outsize importance. The old religious rituals gave way long ago. The post-dynamic-capitalism of the moment has taken away the replacement methods of proving yourself. Making a living is principally a sign of good luck. Owning property is a sign of your parents’ status more than it is your own. Combat itself is now gender-neutral. Only fatherhood is indisputably masculine, which is why when you ask men when they became men, they usually answer when they became a father or lost a father.

Do yourself a favor, and read the rest of the article. Ladies, don’t skip this one–it really conveys so much of what men are thinking and struggling with, particularly in the modern world.

Read more: Why Fatherhood Matters – Fathers Day – Esquire

Visit us at Esquire.com


  1. Thank you for posting this. I need an occasional reminder of why I’ve tried to do what I have done over the last 18+ years.


  2. Good article and very defining. I admit I got a bit lost while reading about pop culture, conservatives and political systems, only because my lack of awareness.


    1. Allen, I envy your lack of awareness. There is too much information out there and people pick and choose what “facts” to believe. I’m glad you muddle through it though. Thanks for commenting. Hope you are enjoying your summer.


      1. Astutely observed. I am enjoying it thanks, hope you are too! I think I heard the rain has calmed down some there.


  3. Welp, thanks for making me tear up at 10am in the morning! That last paragraph in the Esquire article really pulled the heart strings. Thanks for sharing, it was a really nice read.


  4. It’s empowering to find people who still believe there are some things men just do better, i.e fatherhood, without sounding like a chauvinist pig. I like a lot!


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